14 Years, 14 Lessons Learned

Hey y'all:

Today I wish my beloved husband a very happy 14th wedding anniversary. Over the past 14 years I've learned some rather useful lessons. Of course I won't share them all but here are 14 for every year of wedded bliss.

1. Never say never - I said I never wanted children and then I was bit by the baby bug and here were stand the proud parents of three
2. Over communicate - Saying you told him/her about the party two weeks ago means nothing. Put it on the family calendar, create an event on Google and FaceBook, send a text, tweet or put a put it note on the fridge listing how many days are left until the event.
3. Pick your battles - If it's not life treating let it go. Do you want the kids clean and feed or is it more important that the bed is spread?
4. It takes 2 to tango - Intimacy isn't the responsibility of only one person. If you are in the mood get the party started!
5. Blood IS thicker than water - Although you are happily married into the family remember where you stand. Don't talk about the man's mama and expect life to be easy, sometimes it's better to agree to disagree and keep it moving then argue about things you can't change when their family is involved.
6. Marriage = COMPROMISE - Doesn't matter what the topic you have to compromise on many issues within a marriage from what's for dinner to where we'll live you both have to come to a conclusion that makes everyone happy.
7. You can't always be right - "Yes Dear" is a line my brother and sister in law use often. Sometimes you have to say yes dear and move on. You will not be right all the time (I am 99.9% of the time of course!)
8. Time outs are needed - Sometimes from one another and from the kids. Remember that visiting family does not a vacation make!
9. Team work - As the Wonder Pets say; What's Gonna Work? Team Work. When you say I Do you become partners for better or worse so work together
10. Never let them see you sweat - I'm not talking about your spouse but rather your extended family and friends. Nobody should know when you and your spouse are at odds with one another! Keep your issues to yourself or seek professional counseling if you are in need of help. Hearing "well if I were you" doesn't help anyone because they AREN'T you!
11. What it took to get him/her is the same thing that will help you keep him/her - enough said!
12. No marriage is perfect
13. Don't assume
    
14. Remember why you said "I Do" in the first place.

These are just a few of the things I've learned in the past 14 years. Everyday I learn something new about my husband and myself.

If you are married I pray your relationship is lead by God and that you communicate your likes, dislikes, wants and needs to your spouse. Marriage is work but it's well worth the effort you are putting in.

If you aren't married please seek God for your mate and remember that you have to be open and honest with yourself about what you want. Check out this post and get a little help from Hill Harper's latest book.

Until next time...
MUAH!

I love you baby!

Rediscovery is a good thing...

Hey Y'all:

My husband and I have been married for 13 years; without children for the first 8 so we had plenty of time to learn one another and to develop our relationship without distraction. Now that we are the proud parents of three beautiful children; with very limited time together. My beautiful mother was gracious enough to take the children for a good part of this summer giving us the opportunity to rediscover one another. Since my children have been gone I've realized yet again that I truly love this man.


I learned that he still makes my heart beat faster when I know he's coming into my presence
I learned that I am excited to sit and have conversations with him about things big and small.
I learned that he is patient, kind and really rather smart.

Over the past six weeks I was reeducated on why I said "I do" in the first place. He still makes me smile and weak in the knees. His drive is intoxicating and his talent is invigorating I learned that I have a life long friend in this man that I've known well over 15 years.



I wrote this as an exercise a few months back and decided that I want to post it again.



My husband is a God fearing man who loves his family unconditionally; he shows us by his deeds and actions on a daily bases. He is taller then me, strong and well built, his arms are strong enough to lift a heavy load but gentle enough to hug his children's pain away. My husbands voice can be comforting and stern all in the same breath. He is patient and understanding, he is a gentle lover and a passionate father. He is mine and I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

Until next time...
MUAH!