10 Things you should NOT share or ask on social networks

Hey Y'all:

Recently I have had two distinct experiences on facebook that caused me to pause. The first one was a  co-worker finding out about her deceased grandmother via facebook chat, the second was a former co- working asking if I was pregnant based on a picture I uploaded. Both of these in my opinion were out of order! 

How in the world do you think it’s OK to tell someone that their grandmother has passed via a social network?  Sure you can do it with a celebrity, old classmate or even ex-lover but your biological grandmother? I mean really people; what’s wrong with picking up the phone and sharing this information. I would even settle for a text message but a facebook chat??? Unreal!

So here is MrsDeveter’s list of things you shouldn’t say, share, post or ask on social networks which include but are not limited to - facebook, twitter, myspace, blackplanet, Google+, linkedin and foursquare

10. Are you pregnant? – first of all… if you are my friend on facebook and you haven’t seen me post anything in my status about being pregnant; nine times out of ten that picture that you saw of me must not have been a flattering one and made my belly look a lot bigger than normal. However this does not give you free range to ask me if I’m with child – in the comments section of the darn picture where EVERYONE can see. Asking a  woman if she is pregnant is rude and inappropriate and quite frankly (as the receiver) quite hurtful. 

9.  Any content related to sex. No one wants to hear how good or bad your partner is in bed. It’s none of our business and you should be ashamed sharing it! These celebrities who are constantly putting their bedroom antics out in the public are wrong people don’t follow in their misguided footsteps.

8. Birth Photos. Yes we want to see the baby but not when they are making their way out of the womb! You may be the proud parent but most of us are completely grossed out seeing the birthing process. Keep the process to yourself and share the cleaned up photo of your precious little bundle. 

7. I hate you. Never share your breakups, arguments or any negative content on social sites. If you are an adult act like one! I was involved in a facebook conflict with a family member and quickly unfriended the person – picked up the phone to continue our dispute. Social networks are visited by to many people (potential employers, current employers, spiritual leaders, your children etc) it really isn’t a good look to air your dirty laundry on them. 

6. Anything abuse related. Parents we are all tasked with disciplining our children; however the world does not need to know what you did to Johnny when he stuffed the entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet causing a major backup and flooding the entire bathroom. I know what I would do but I don’t think the powers that be should hear about your methods of discipline. I’m just saying…

In the Movies: "Precious Based on the Novel by Sapphire"

Hey Y’all:

I went to the movies last night! I know I know…. how did I pull that off? My beautiful husband give me the night off (well not really when I got home Erick still hadn’t done his homework; please don’t ask me what time this was). Any who I went to see the movie Precious Based on the Novel by Saphire, It was truly moving and I planned to do a post on it anyway but was promted to go ahead and write it after I ran across this forum post question in BlackPlanet…

Precious and Black Motherhood

I am wondering if anyone here will see this film Precious or not? If you plan to see the film, do you worry about how the themes of race and motherhood are depicted?
Do you believe that films help to shape racial perceptions and attitudes, if so, how? If not, why not?
If Michelle Obama, an ivy educated loving wife and mother, is the most visible black woman in the world, what do you think this film suggests about black women and motherhood, if anything at all?
Is the movie industry responsible for shaping policy?
What expectations do you have for this film?

After reading this I just knew I had to respond especially when I saw this persons comment:

I won't lie, sappy after school movies like Precious isn't a must see for me -- although the movie American Violet pulled on some heart strings I didn't anticipate....But just like you I am concern how any media portrays black outside of the positive....Now, granted, there's various perspective of blacks from the exceptionally talented millionaires to the downtrodden existence of our poor....Yet I'm also concern one aspect of our community gets showcase more so than another....Or, even worst, movies that dramatize an issue effecting black of which only a white person can solve

Here's my response:

I went to see this movie last night, it was incredible and deserves every award and accolade it receives. Mo'Nique played an excellent part and should most certainly be awarded something; if not an Oscar she deserves something! Precious was NOT a 'sappy after school' movie and it wasn't just about black motherhood. It was about the lack of love and belonging, it was about abuse and illiteracy it was about self esteem and the lack there of. It could have been about me!

I ran across this book one day while browsing for a good read at the library. After reading the back cover I was shocked to discover this book was supposed to be a young adult title. Once I began reading it I was so jarred by all the topics that were discussed and angered by the abuse that all of the girls endured. It pulled at every single heart string I have as a Mother and woman. The story of Precious is the story of so many little girls regardless of their ethnic background! It reminds me very much of the book Bastard Out of Carolina which depicted a very similar circumstance involving a little white girl. Her sigma wasn’t that she was obese or ugly but that she was "ILLEGITIMATE", born to a 15 year old mother living with extended family in a poor part of town. This little girl was sexually abused by her step father repeatedly. Her mother didn’t leave him… even after catching him raping her daughter. Precious is also reminiscent of The Color Purple, especially the illustration of incest, abandonment, poverty, addiction and illiteracy. These all the things that we as African Americans or Blacks (which ever you prefer) want to keep in the laundry bag for fear of being exposed.

Why is it that when a topic we all know is going on in our community comes up we clam up? Why can’t we raise our hands and say yes I suffered incest, or my mother can’t read and even I was addicted etc. Instead of applauding those who publicize these topics we brow beat them. We say they are doing it just for the money, and they are airing our ‘dirty laundry’. I applaud Lee Daniels and his team for getting this story on the big screen.

Did I go in y’all? Have you seen the movie yet?

Well until next time…

MUAH!