Suicide Watch...

Hey Y'all,

While scrolling my Facebook timeline I saw the image of Lee Thompson Young, the former star of late '90s Disney Channel series The Famous Jett Jackson, and current star of one of my favorite TNT shows Rizzoli & Isles, the caption was about his self inflicted gunshot wound. He is dead. 

Although the following information is dated the numbers are daunting and I know they are higher today.
According to the CDC:

• Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death for all ages in 2010.

• There were 38,364 suicides in 2010 in the United 

• States--an average of 105 each day.

• Based on data about suicides in 16 National Violent 

• Death Reporting System states in 2009, 33.3% of suicide decedents tested positive for alcohol, 23% for antidepressants, and 20.8% for opiates, including heroin and prescription pain killers.

• Suicide results in an estimated $34.6 billion in combined medical and work loss costs.

Warning Signs of Suicide:

• Talking about wanting to die

• Looking for a way to kill oneself

• Talking about feeling hopeless or  having no purpose

• Talking about feeling trapped or  in unbearable pain

• Talking about being a burden  to others

• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

• Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly

• Sleeping too little or too much

• Withdrawing or feeling isolated

• Showing rage or talking about  seeking revenge

• Displaying extreme mood swings

• The more of these signs a person shows, the greater the risk. Warning signs are associated with suicide but may not be what causes a suicide.

What to do if you see these signs:

• Do not leave the person alone

• Remove any fi rearms, alcohol,  drugs or sharp objects that could  be used in a suicide attempt

• Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention  Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255)

• Take the person to an emergency  room or seek help from a medical  or mental health professional

My prayers are with the family, friends and co-workers of this amazing young man. I pray that if you are feeling like there is no hope and your life isn't worth living, that you would contact someone. Reach out to a family member, friend, clergy, your local hospital or even police station to get the help you need.


Until next time...
MUAH!

Write It DOWN!!! You NEED a Will

Hey Y'all:

I am a Christian so I'm going to start this very important post with a scripture

Then the LORD replied: "Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. Habakkuk 2:2 NIV Translation

Over the past year I have attended about 6 funerals; the dearly departed where either close personal friends of my husband and I and or family members of close personal friends. I was charged with writing the obituary's, reading a scripture and the cards and or creating the entire program for the majority of the services. To say I am sick of death is more than an understatement. I'm really quite sick of the sadness and loss but alas death is part of life. After college we are invited to weddings then baby showers and finally we begin to receive calls, emails or Facebook posts regarding the passing of a friends loved one. It's what happens as you get older but it never every gets easier.

The purpose of this post is to share the most important thing regarding death in my opinion. Not that there aren't a million things that can be shared about being prepared for your passing but this one thing in particular is detrimental to the loved ones you leave behind. The scripture I started this post off with is talking about writing down a revelation or an idea or even a desire you have and making it so plan that anybody could interpret it. I am sharing this because the majority of the people that passed away this year did not write their final wishes down; many of them didn't have life insurance policies either so please check out this post when you can.

10 Things you should NOT share or ask on social networks

Hey Y'all:

Recently I have had two distinct experiences on facebook that caused me to pause. The first one was a  co-worker finding out about her deceased grandmother via facebook chat, the second was a former co- working asking if I was pregnant based on a picture I uploaded. Both of these in my opinion were out of order! 

How in the world do you think it’s OK to tell someone that their grandmother has passed via a social network?  Sure you can do it with a celebrity, old classmate or even ex-lover but your biological grandmother? I mean really people; what’s wrong with picking up the phone and sharing this information. I would even settle for a text message but a facebook chat??? Unreal!

So here is MrsDeveter’s list of things you shouldn’t say, share, post or ask on social networks which include but are not limited to - facebook, twitter, myspace, blackplanet, Google+, linkedin and foursquare

10. Are you pregnant? – first of all… if you are my friend on facebook and you haven’t seen me post anything in my status about being pregnant; nine times out of ten that picture that you saw of me must not have been a flattering one and made my belly look a lot bigger than normal. However this does not give you free range to ask me if I’m with child – in the comments section of the darn picture where EVERYONE can see. Asking a  woman if she is pregnant is rude and inappropriate and quite frankly (as the receiver) quite hurtful. 

9.  Any content related to sex. No one wants to hear how good or bad your partner is in bed. It’s none of our business and you should be ashamed sharing it! These celebrities who are constantly putting their bedroom antics out in the public are wrong people don’t follow in their misguided footsteps.

8. Birth Photos. Yes we want to see the baby but not when they are making their way out of the womb! You may be the proud parent but most of us are completely grossed out seeing the birthing process. Keep the process to yourself and share the cleaned up photo of your precious little bundle. 

7. I hate you. Never share your breakups, arguments or any negative content on social sites. If you are an adult act like one! I was involved in a facebook conflict with a family member and quickly unfriended the person – picked up the phone to continue our dispute. Social networks are visited by to many people (potential employers, current employers, spiritual leaders, your children etc) it really isn’t a good look to air your dirty laundry on them. 

6. Anything abuse related. Parents we are all tasked with disciplining our children; however the world does not need to know what you did to Johnny when he stuffed the entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet causing a major backup and flooding the entire bathroom. I know what I would do but I don’t think the powers that be should hear about your methods of discipline. I’m just saying…

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye...

Today I will attend my second funeral of the week.

Last week two dear friends of mine bid their mother's goodbye.
As I sat in the first funeral service my heart was so grateful because my mom is still with me and yet so heavy as I watched the tears flow from the eyes of my friend. I didn't have a personal relationship with Mrs. Knight so I couldn't mourn for her but I mourn for my friend Patrick and his family.

I was listed on the program to read Mrs. Knight's obituary; to a church full of her family and friends. It was my goal to read her life story with as much enthusiasm and emotion that I could. After the service, burial and tears shed I was taken aback by the response I received regarding the reading. Most of the family members (even the eulogist) thanked me for making them feel their mom/aunt/grandma/sister's presence in the room. I guess my job was well done.

For the "If's" in life.

Hey Y'all:

Last night I had the privilege to attend a New York Urban League Young Professionals (http://nyul.org/nyulyp) financial literacy series event. The topic was "Cover Your Assets: Protecting your house, health and future." There was a panel of three finance professionals that participated in the "living room" discussion that really got me thinking about insurance!

Here are a few things I learned last night and thought you should know.

• There are so many types of insurance besides life, home and health. Do your research about: Long Term Care Insurance (is designed to provide coverage for necessary medical or personal care services provided outside of a hospital setting, such as in a nursing home or in the insured’s home.), Disability Insurance ( is a type of heath insurance that pays a monthly income to the policyholder when he or she is unable to work because of an illness or accident.) and Variable Universal Life Insurance (is a type of life insurance that builds a cash value. In a VUL, the cash value can be invested in a wide variety of separate accounts, similar to mutual funds, and the choice of which of the available separate accounts to use is entirely up to the contract owner)
• Before buying a policy make sure you are working with a reputable agency that has a long history. Also, shop around. Meet with different insurance agencies before you buy a policy.
• If you have a policy make sure it's valid for the state you currently reside in. The rules for NY are different then the rules in NJ and the rules on the West Coast are different then the rules on the East Coast.
• It's great to utilize the insurance that your employer provides but you should also have your own disability insurance, because you can't always take your employers insurance with you if you quit or get fired.
• Insurance is all about protecting what you own or have and the people you love. Even though you don't own your house you should invest in renters insurance... "for the Ifs in life"
• It's a hard discussion but a very necessary one. It's very important to know where your loved ones keep their life insurance policies. If they are in a safe deposit box they need to make sure they give someone the key or power of attorney to get into the box. It makes no since to have a policy that no one can get access to!
• The younger you are and the longer the policy the cheaper it can be.
• After age 65 most insurance companies will not give you a policy! That sucks right?
• Life insurance is money that shows up when stuff happens. Stuff doesn't always mean death. It can mean, fire, accidents, illness and injuries.

This seminar was truly eye opening for me. Since the death of Michael Jackson I've really been thinking a lot about how I want my children to be taken care of if something should happen to my husband or I. Not only is life insurance important but you should also have a will, a health care proxy and a power of attorney. Those of us who aren't affluent or don't come from a family with lots of money never think about the need for an insurance policy outside of burial costs, but your income is what keeps your family afloat. Think about what would happen if you weren't here. We shouldn't just think about not leaving bills behind but also not leaving our family broke. I want my three children to be well taken care of if something should happen to me! So tomorrow I have an appointment to set up my policies with them in mind.

Have you taken any steps toward securing your future? It's hard to think about insurance when we are in a financial decline as a country but it's a necessary discussion.

BTW I won a Wii at the event! Put my name in for a drawing and won! Go me!!! and Merry Christmas to Erick LOL..

Well until next time...

MUAH!