Recently I have had two distinct experiences on facebook that caused me to pause. The first one was a co-worker finding out about her deceased grandmother via facebook chat, the second was a former co- working asking if I was pregnant based on a picture I uploaded. Both of these in my opinion were out of order!
How in the world do you think it’s OK to tell someone that their grandmother has passed via a social network? Sure you can do it with a celebrity, old classmate or even ex-lover but your biological grandmother? I mean really people; what’s wrong with picking up the phone and sharing this information. I would even settle for a text message but a facebook chat??? Unreal!
So here is MrsDeveter’s list of things you shouldn’t say, share, post or ask on social networks which include but are not limited to - facebook, twitter, myspace, blackplanet, Google+, linkedin and foursquare
10. Are you pregnant? – first of all… if you are my friend on facebook and you haven’t seen me post anything in my status about being pregnant; nine times out of ten that picture that you saw of me must not have been a flattering one and made my belly look a lot bigger than normal. However this does not give you free range to ask me if I’m with child – in the comments section of the darn picture where EVERYONE can see. Asking a woman if she is pregnant is rude and inappropriate and quite frankly (as the receiver) quite hurtful.
9. Any content related to sex. No one wants to hear how good or bad your partner is in bed. It’s none of our business and you should be ashamed sharing it! These celebrities who are constantly putting their bedroom antics out in the public are wrong people don’t follow in their misguided footsteps.
8. Birth Photos. Yes we want to see the baby but not when they are making their way out of the womb! You may be the proud parent but most of us are completely grossed out seeing the birthing process. Keep the process to yourself and share the cleaned up photo of your precious little bundle.
7. I hate you. Never share your breakups, arguments or any negative content on social sites. If you are an adult act like one! I was involved in a facebook conflict with a family member and quickly unfriended the person – picked up the phone to continue our dispute. Social networks are visited by to many people (potential employers, current employers, spiritual leaders, your children etc) it really isn’t a good look to air your dirty laundry on them.
6. Anything abuse related. Parents we are all tasked with disciplining our children; however the world does not need to know what you did to Johnny when he stuffed the entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet causing a major backup and flooding the entire bathroom. I know what I would do but I don’t think the powers that be should hear about your methods of discipline. I’m just saying…
5. Mmmmm that breakfast was delish! Nobody cares. Please don’t post what you had for breakfast unless it was at a 5 star restaurant that you checked into on foursquare (only) and highly recommend. Otherwise the Big and Toasty from Dunkin’ Donuts isn’t of interest to me!
4. I love you. Well of course you can post I love you but folks let’s be clear about context… do not tag a former lover -who is now married with children – on an old photo of the two of you ‘booed up’ and tell him/her that you still love them and wish you could turn back the hands of time. This is an automatic fail. You look quite foolish and you are no doubt causing your ex-lover issues. He/she is in a relationship don’t jeopardize what they have by wishing for a second chance. It’s not going to happen! MOVE ON
3. Inappropriate pictures. I LOVE taking pictures of my family. I post them everywhere… but never will you see any inappropriate pictures of me or my children. Inappropriate photos run the gamut... from naked bathroom flicks to pissy drunk party photos. Don’t do it to yourselves!
2. Personal information. Even though you think you know the people you friend on most social sites you never know who might be checking you out. So for your safety (even if your settings are private) NEVER share the following – address, telephone number, job address, current location, when and where you are going on vacation and anything else that is truly private.
1. Did you hear that Grandma died? This is the #1 thing you should NEVER share on a social network. The loss of a loved one is life alerting, emotional and an event that shouldn't be taken lightly. No one should receive detrimental information via a social network. PERIOD
In closing … according to an online dictionary I found -- a social networking site is a Web site that lets users create their own pages and user profiles, post information, pictures and videos, and interact with each other — sort of like a big party in cyberspace where you can search for people according to their interests and other criteria and start up an online conversation. Facebook and MySpace are the best known social networks. We also include instant messaging (IM), mobile phone texting, and email lists under the social networking umbrella because these have an incredible reach among young people. They allow instant connection and interaction, and carry many of the same benefits and risks as the websites.
Be wise when you interact on social sites. If you feel like you shouldn’t post certain information or ask certain question then DON’T!
Until next time...