Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Open Toe Shoe Pledge

Hey Y'all,

It's that time of year again! The time when folks start taking off stocking and socks and start wearing flip flops and sandals.
It's time to make the pledge again because I saw some toes this afternoon that were in need of a little help from our friends who specialize in making ugly feet pretty!

Please take this pledge and adhere to it! By the way this isn't only for women, hey you guys out there that think it's ok to have jacked up feet in those sandals this is for you too!



People get your feet right before you put on those $2.50 Old Navy Flip Flops or $3,000 Louboutin platform sandals!

THE OPEN-TOED SHOE PLEDGE
*please raise your right hand and say the following*

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...

Ladies if you have taken this pledge, please sign your name in the comment section.

By signing this pledge, you are acknowledging that you will abide by all the guidelines set forth above, and will abruptly let a woman know if she is in violation. Let's keep this Summer crusty feet free!! Not only with the fellas appreciate it, but those of us that do take care of our feet will too.

**LADIES SPREAD THE WORD.TELL YOUR GIRLS TO SIGN THE PLEDGE**

**FELLAS PASS THIS ALONG TO YOUR LADY FRIENDS TOO**
Until next time...
MUAH!

2 comments:

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  2. You are hilarious. Guuuuurl, I can't wait for the weather to stay warm. I believe in letting the feet hang out but not without getting pedicures. And keeping the feet lotioned, cause ashy feet are horrible. Put that vaseline on at night time with some socks so they can stay warm and moisturized.

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