Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"A Box of White Chocolate" Book Review (well sorta)


Hey Y'all:

So I'm a romance novel junkie. I mean I have so much going on in my real world that every now and again I have to take a break and read some mind numbing goodness. So hand me a Brenda Jackson, Rochelle Alers, Francis Ray or Sandra Brown and I'm one happy subway commuting mama! Recently I picked up an Urban Soul romance novel "A Box of White Chocolate" from my local library and dug right in.

This novel is about a young attorney Bailey Gentry living in "Chocolate City" in her words she's "a 37 year old, six-figure-earning family attorney, proud owner of a beautiful three bedroom, four bath single family home, cute and manless. " Bailey has an unwavering loyalty to black men and has a serious case of "got-to-be-itis." which is explanined to Bailey by a very funny bicicyle messenger Rex; "got-to-be-itis" is "an epidemic that afflicts single black women in alarming numbers. A disease that keeps them in their single-black-woman status. You know a woman has it when her girlfriends are trying to hook her lonely ass up with a good brotha and all she can say is, he's got-to-be over six feet. He's got-to-be chocolate brown, bald, with at least a mustache. He's got-to-be a college graduate of a major university. He's got-to-be white-collar. He's got-to-be earning six-figure income or close to it. He's got-to-be a homeowner." You get it right?

Well Ms Gentry had the opportunity to meet her "Mr. Right"at an Urban League fun-raising party, he just happened to be white. Tony and Bailey dated for about four months and even went on a weekend vacation together, with out having 'relations'. Finally they come to the night when "it" would happen and she freaks out on "white chocolate". In the misdt of the do she tells him she can't go through with the 'swirl' (you know like icecream mixing the vanilla with chocolate) she then yells out "I want a black man, I need a black man". She hurt Tony to the core and pushed him into the arms of one of her clients (unknowingly of course.) This was a really good read and has wonderfully colorful characters that made it a quick read. Now I said this was a review of sorts because I have a topic that I'd like to discuss.

Interracial relationships

It's a major topic. Books, movies and plays have been written about it and still the discussion goes on. As a black woman I must admit that I LOVE a black man. I love the color of our skin together, I love that he understands who I am in the 'struggle' and I love looking at someone that looks like me. But if I were a single girl in the city I think I would consider a non Black as a mate. Is that wrong? Black men do it all the time... why is it such an issue with Black women????

I have been with my husband for 18 years, 13 of which we've been married. We started dating when I was 16 years old. Yes 16! I've never had the opportunity to consider dating outside of the color lines. Now that I'm a 35 year old woman I sometimes wonder if I would have. I am not opposed to interracial dating. I don't think it's about skin color only but all the other things that are needed to build a releationship, like trust, honesty, compatibility, attraction etc. Growing up my mom made it clear that she wasn't interested in a white man by saying... "there is nothing a white man can do for me", I wonder now though (since my mother is still very much single) if she would change that. If the man you meet, meets all your 'critira' for Mr. Right except his skin color why would you walk away from him?

Does race really matter? When considering dating outside of your race what really counts?

What y'all think?

Until next time...
MUAH!

2 comments:

  1. Interesting topic. Once upon a time I too was a member of the don't want any vanilla club but that was when I was much younger. However I was interested and open to dating within other ethnicities. I don't understand my logic but hey I grew out of that. Clearly I'm not in the market anymore as a married woman but if the circumstances were different I would be open to it. As long as he had the qualitities I wanted and was a good person I don't think it's a big deal. For the majority I think race still does matter when dating. There is still a stigma attached to it. Right, wrong, good, bad or indifferent it exists. There is this old piece of advice I remember hearing that goes before you marry one should date someone older, someone younger, someone wiser, someone dummier, someone richer, someone poorer, and someone of another race. That's a lot of dating but the gist of it is to keep an open mind cause you never know.

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  2. I have dated outside of my race because for me it was about the person and not the color of his skin. It was what was in his head and heart. I also looked at it as God made us in his image so why deny dating a guy because of his color. Never mattered to me and if my kids date outside of their race it really wouldn't bother me. The only man I know as my Dad is white so I guess that plays a major part. I call him Dad proudly. He has been for 25 years. My kids questionned how he could be their grandfather if he was white. I aksed them, do you love him, they said yes. I asked them, Does he love you, they said yes. So then, does his color really matter? They said no. Then they looked at the rest of my family on my mother's side and I told them don't even ask. We've got a lot of mixture on my mother's side, so again, race doesn't matter to me.

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