Now that you've decided to adopt a child, how do you explain to said little one who was adopted as an infant that they are not biologically yours? When you welcome an older child into your home this isn't an issue, most times they know their history and who their biological family members are. What about the little baby you bring home from the agency who is days, weeks or months old? What happens when they discover they don't look like you? How do you explain to them that you wanted a child and went on a search for them.
Well folks there's an app for that (hehehehe just kidding.) There are tons of books out there to help you have this discussion. The one bit of advice I will give is to make sure you are honest from the start. Don't keep the truth hidden until something happens (child needs blood and neither parents are a match, or there are other issues that need to be explained but since you haven't told your child the truth the issue is not properly diagnoised.)
Here is MrsDeveter's top 5 list of books on the topic!
- I Wished for You: an Adoption Story by Marianne R Richmond
- Talking with Young Children about Adoption by Ms. Mary Watkins
- Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schecter and Robin Marantz Henig
- Family Matters: Secrecy and Disclosure in the History of Adoption by E. Wayne Carp
- Adoption Is for Always by Linda Walvoord Girard
My mother was very open with my brothers and sisters regarding their family history. She was instumental (to a fault at times) in making sure my siblings knew their biological familes. For those who did not know their family, Mommy has been known to write letters to Montel Williams and have me send a note to the guy on WE TV, Troy Dunn to ask his help in finding their birth family. We haven't had any luck with TV but with the advances we now have in technology I'm sure we are going to find them all; it's just a matter of time.
Well until next time...